I'm So Tired

I’M SO TIRED

I’m So Tired explores the particular exhaustion of living with Multiple Sclerosis: a fatigue that is simultaneously physical, mental and emotional.

The words “I’M SO TIRED” are written directly across the body of a seated, winged cat-like figure. MS fatigue can be difficult to communicate because “tired” is such an ordinary word. For me, it can mean being physically depleted, mentally exhausted and emotionally drained at the same time; the kind of tiredness where it becomes difficult to imagine how you can possibly continue. And yet, somehow, you do.

The figure sits casually, almost whimsically, with its face turned upwards and wings emerging from its back. The surreal combination developed intuitively from the moulds and forms available to me rather than as a predetermined symbol. Its strange serenity contrasts with the exhaustion written plainly across its body. However tired I am, life still requires me to show up.

Across the reverse are the phrases “WELL DONE”, “GOOD JOB” and “KEEP GOING”. They reference the encouragement that often accompanies chronic illness. The words are well intentioned and usually offered because there is very little else anyone can say. I can appreciate being recognised for enduring something difficult while simultaneously finding no comfort in being told to continue doing the thing I already have no choice but to continue doing.

There is humour and frustration in that contradiction. The encouragement becomes almost absurd: praise cannot replenish an exhausted body, and “keep going” cannot make continuing any easier.

Rather than presenting fatigue through an image of visible suffering, I’m So Tired allows exhaustion to inhabit something colourful, peculiar and deceptively cheerful. The figure simply sits there, tired and still here.